The day I become LES

Not many people know this, but I have a nick name.

I'm called Lef.

The origin of Lef:
I was a newly commissioned officer back in 1998. And I was due to distrupt for studies in 2 months time. And during these 2 months, I took a group of cadets, who are destined to be my classmates in NUS.

Of course, they remembered me more than I remembered them when I saw 1 of them in NUS. It turns out that we were in the same orientation group. This guy called Kelvin Poh, and together with Desmond Goh, we become the best buddies.

And because I was their Lieutenant (pronounced 'Lef- Teh- Nant'), they start calling me "Lef" for short. And the nick stuck. That group of friends all know me as "Lef". I'm not sure if they even know my real name. Wahaha. To them, I'm just Lef. Even in Desmond's wedding invitation, I am known as Lef Chew Kuo Jiun.

But now that I'm promoted to Captain liao, shouldn't my nick be changed to "Cap" instead? Hahaha.

Well, that's that. I dun really use that nickname much now, and only those group calls me and continue to call me Lef. People like Desmond, Kelvin and Ben. Sometimes when there is a need, like when I'm playing DotA, I will use that nick also.

Lef is a nice nick, I think. At the very least, it is unique, and easy to pronounce. I like it. Wahaha.

Except on this particular time, when we were making a company T-shirt in my, er... company. And my Sergeant came to me and ask:

SGT: Sir, what nick name you want to put on the T-shirt?
Me: Nick ah? Put Lef lah.
SGT: Lef? As in L-E-F?
Me: Yup yup.

But look what came back from the shop.....



OMG!!!!!! LES!!!!!!! Now I become a LES!!!!!!!!

You will NEVER catch me dead in that shirt.....



Oops... You guys can see my room is in a mess too.

A Little Spark...

This was a busy weekend for me. I guess it started on friday night. After 1 full day of Ops duty, and playing chauffuer in the evening, I reached home after midnight and slept close to 1am.

Saturday I woke up late for the Service-Learning (S-L) training conducted by our church. Had a interesting session until 4pm, when I rushed to The Bible House, where my friend's son, Pastor Aloysious Tan, started a church and they are having their VERY FIRST worship service there. The name of the church is Harvest Field Assembly. Obviously their focus is on the Harvest and the Harvesters.

May God bless them and their number increase greatly. The service ended at 6pm when I had to fly back to camp cos my duty starts again at 8pm.

Duty was suppose to end by Sunday 8am. But instead it ended late and by the time I reached the arena for the S-L training again, I was late by 1 hour. Sunday was Day 2 of S-L training and it lasted until close to 5pm.

What I want to note down today is: Ps Seng Lee pray for me today. And he released a special word for me: "Even in the mist of great darkness, a little spark will give great light." I think I must record it down cos its something special, even though I do not fully understand the meaning of the word yet. Anybody can help me decipher this?

After S-L training, I am totally worn out. Went Toa Payoh Popular to buy some stuff for my Lijiang trip before heading home to type my blog and knock out.

Thanksgiving (Lijiang trip) 1

This just in: I’m going for the Lijiang trip next week!

Yeah!

Have been praying very hard for this trip for a while now. Cos for a long time, my leave application for the trip has not been approved… until yesterday that is. Want to thank God (and my boss) for allowing me to take leave next Saturday. Initially, I was very unsure of my availability for this trip but I still went ahead and buy the air ticket and stuff although my leave had not been approved, and was unlikely to be approved.

Anyway, all’s well that ends well. I managed to get my leave approved and go for the trip. BTW, this trip to Lijiang is called a ‘community service trip’ where we would be going there to teach the kids English. Haha. As if my English very good like that.

Now got a lot of things to buy in preparation for the trip, like all the winter clothing and stuff.

Had been severely busy for the past two days, alternating between work and church stuff. Rather tired…. And stoned.. hope to get some sleep… soon…

2 movies, 1 book, and an old friend

So glad that I finally got to watch Harry Potter yesterday. Heehee. And its on a weekday somemore. Very very long never watch movie for $7 movie liao. I am not a hardcore HP fan and neither have I have not read Book 4 so I shan't make too much comments on it. As a whole, I felt that the movie is sufficient as a motion picture but not entirely satisfying.

Met an old friend after the movie. Davin Samuel. He is a good Christian brother whom I met in the SAF. He is someone I sought support from during the initial of my return to the SAF. I had a hard time adjusting to the life back in green but thank God there is someone who share my faith and is able to share my burden.

After not meeting for such a long time, the encounter is initially awarkard but soon we can talked like old friends again. We met at the Life Bookshop at Bishan J8 and he took the opportunity to introduce this book that he was reading - Drawing Near by John Bervee. Heehee. I took it as "a sign from God" for me to buy the book. (no kidding!) And so I did.

Read Chapter 1. So far so good.

Saw The 6th sense on TV last night. It was a great show. I fell in love with Haley Joel Osment again. He was my favourite child actor and I watched all his movies and shows. Sigh... Why does he have to grow up so fast? (Haha. I sound like a phaedophile!) I heard he was originakky casted to be Harry Potter... Issit true?

What am I doing here on a Wednesday morning?

What am I doing here on a Wednesday morning? Heehee. Dun have to work today... well at least until tonight when I have to do duty at the Airport. So I'm here lor...

Can't tell you all too much, lest the garmen will order me to take down my blog. Haha

Sometimes its quite boring to be not working on a weekday day cos everybody else is. Watched the 33rd Annual American Music Awards earlier.

Have you ever wondered why the American always like to have their awards presentations at 9am in the morning? And why do the Europeans play soccer at wee hours in the morning?

Haha

Pardon my lameness. Anywayz, as I was saying, I watched the 33rd AMA... and I realised that I dun like or even recgonise the many of the artises and songs that were presented there. Its all Rap, R&B and Pop stuff.... what happen to the Good O' Rock n' Roll? Can't even get some good guitar playing anymore. Oh well, maybe its because I became old.

Old man like Rock n' Roll...

WAHAHA!! Was just going to lament that I got nobody to watch Harry Potter with me and suddenly, I'm going to watch... NOW! Gotta rush... show starts in 20min time....

Guitar Sunday

It's one of those Sundays that I cannot find anybody to watch any movie with me. That's right, I haven't watch Harry Potter yet. (My friend calls it "Helicopter") I heard its not very good, but I will still watch it anyway. Haha.

I spend the day resting at home. Playing guitar after guitar after guitar... Haha. Played 5 of my guitars today. Usually I will just focus on 1 or 2, at most 3. But today I played 5 of them. I got 11 guitars I think, which about 3 or 4 of them I will never play. Either because they are too lousy to be played or I already have one that gives the same sound and better. Probably will find one fine day and bring them to a second-hand guitar shop for sale.

The sunday this week has been quite restful. Played guitar, watched cartoons, and did some readings. Did not go out, other than going out of my room. I wished there are more days like this.

Sheeps and Goats

Why is everybody listening to Corrinne May's song? Who is Corrinne May? Is she really that good?

Went to see Team 1 of the China, Lijiang trip off yesterday morning. I am suppose to be in Team 2 of the trip, but my leave is still pending approval. Must start to pray pray hard hard liao. Really hope I can go for this trip...

Anyway, back to yesterday... 8am flight, So we all were they about 6 plus. Haha. Was so tired after that. Went for prata breakfast with the rest of the "farewell team" at Sengpang (<--spelling?) Bedok after they checked in. After that went back to camp and sleep. Hahaha.

Threw my car to one of my friends from the "farewell team" so that at least they can move around more easily while I dun have to fulfill my obligation as the chauffuer. Haha. Went back to camp at about 0900hrs to watch TV and sleep... until 1300hrs when I felt hungry and went to Parkway to look for food. Haha. I took public transport!!! Bus!!! Very long never take bus liao. Its amazing I still have a functional EZ link card. Haha.

Its kinda fun to be taking buses again after driving for a while. But cannot do this too often lah. Haha.

-----------------------------

Outside our church there is this guy who stands there selling tissue papers every week. I think he's been there for a couple of years now. And I think everybody who goes to my church will know who I'm talking about. He is a short middle-aged guy with bumps all over his face and body that he is almost hideous to look at the 1st couple of times you see him.

He's been there for 2? or issit 3 years now. Every week he will stand outside the church before each service and ask people to buy tissue paper from him, which is actually a smart move cos church goers are suppose to be kind a compasionate and all mah, so there would be people buying from him.

Actually, the fact is, I dun see many people who actually buy the tissue from him.

Shortly after he started selling tissue there, a friend of mine brought him inside our church and he accepted Christ. Praise the LORD.

He was there yesterday as usual selling his tissues. He approached a brother of mine and asked him to buy from him. To which my friend replied "I have no need for tissue." And the man replied, "But I need your help!" But my friend just walked away.

I was disturbed by the outcome of the event, to say the least. I stepped forward to buy the tissue from him, paying him double of what I gave him every week. Though I have no need for tissues either.

I pray that my church friends who reads this will find the compassion in their hearts to help this man, be it buying his tissues or whatever. For what is our religion if we do not even help the poor around us? I'm sure we can have 1001 reasons for not helping him but I pray that we will look beyond logic and turn into our hearts. Logic and Arguments will never end. But Love is perfect and conquers all.

I will leave you with this to end:

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' " Matthew 25: 37-40

I think I'm in love...

Note: Due to some constraints, I just blog the contents now. Will add in the links and stuff later. <-- Doned

Hey Hey! This has been an eventful week.

Went for my friend Jade's exibition on Monday. She is currently pursuing her ambition as a designer in the LAsalle School of Arts. And she did some project which was selected for an exibition organised by the people at LAsalle. Monday was its opening ceremony and so we were there to give her our utmost support. I shan't comment on her project cos I do not have the training to appreciate its artistic and esthetic quality and value.

Wanted to post the picture we took there but I decided that my un-gelled hair is too ugly for public viewing. Wahaha.

Not much happenings for Tues and Wed. But a lot of happenings on Thursday.

Thursday morning was the 1st match of my basketball competiton. (if you remember, I was suppose to be in charge of my unit's basketball team) Our 1st match was against the strong team, who gave us a thrashing like there's no tomorrow. The score is like... 80++ to... er... not zero.

It was a traumatising game, to say the least. I know we were bad... but not THAT bad!!!

Ok, now I know... We were THAT bad...

Oh well, at least our second game on Friday was not bad. We were leading all the way, until the last quater, where we lost by 4 points. What a pity! Oh well, after thursday's outcome, we were not expecting to win anyway. So overall, on friday, we had a good game.

Anyway, back to Thursday. Had dinner with HS at Suntec. The last time I saw her was in September, the week of her birthday. And she was wearing the same shirt and jacket the last time! Talk about coincidence. Or she never change her clothes for 3 months? Haha. Anyway, I had a good time catching up with her.

Thursday was also the day my guys came back from Australia!! Went to welcome them back from the airport after the dinner with HS. Haha. Was so happy to see them. I'm sure they are happy to be back in Singapore too.

Got half day off on friday and I went to watch Dragon Squad with Jade. The movie not bad so I was quite surprised, that there are only about 10 people in the entire cinema. Maybe because most of the other people were still working, as it was a weekday afternoon. The pretty babe of the movie, I found out later, was Eva Huang Sheng Yi . 黃聖依(click here to see her pics)

I. Think. I'm. In. LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

She's so pretty!! IMHO, like Athena Chu Yan but with a sharper face. [drool drool~] If you are not familiar with her, its ok, cos she's new. The only other movie she acted in (which is a small 'vase' role) is Kung Fu Hustle, where she played Stephen Chow's mute love interest.

Now all I have to do is to find a girl that looks exactly like her and get her to be my girlfriend. YEAH!

The Privilege of Pain

Heehee. Nowadays, its a rarity that I can steal time during mid-week to write a blog. Usually I'm too tired at the end of the day. But I got something that I want to record today.

By and large, I believe today would be what most people would call a "bad" day. I talked about an interview a couple of post back. And the result is out today. Basically, I was told that I flopped the interview BIG TIME.

Was very sad initally, cos I believed I did everything within my power to ensure my success in this interview. But obviously, "everything within my power" is not good enough. I also mention in that post about not making the mark for the airborne selection last week, which adds agony to the fact that I can't seem to do anything decently recently.

So, that was me in the morning. Totally distressed and almost devastated. I was reading some of my friends' blog earlier.. and they were saying how good God was to them and how amazingly blessed they are; how they lost important things and God brought them back; and how they thought they did badly for their papers but still got an A+++ star star.

Basically, they seems to be always so overwhelmingly blessed.

But when I look back at my own thoughts and recordings, I rarely have anything wonderous or even remotely joyful to say. Most of my writings are Lamentations... or some nonsensical rubbish if I'm not feeling down.

But I am reminded today, that this is not my permanent home. That my stay here is temporal, and all my acheivements are but dust in the wind. And so are my pain and suffering. I am reminded, that this is my training ground: Pain and suffering are my best teachers. Someday, I will be like gold and silver, refined by the fire of trials and troubles.

But now, I can only endure. My life is defined more by setbacks than by victories, more heartbreaks than comfort, and more chaos than serenity. But I have learnt to be thankful for them. For these are the things that keep me from become proud, that remind me to stay humble and push me towards my need for God.

I am not sure... what I have done... to earn the privilege to join the ranks (as a recruit, no less) of Job, Jeremiah and (least of all) Jesus, whose lives had been defined by pains, sufferings and heartbrokeness. But I am sure, that one day my trials will be over.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

I want to thank Sister Jiahui for watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose with me. I think it is a good show.

Note: Some spoilers ahead

But I must confess, I closed my eyes at all the scary parts. Wahaha. Basically, I enjoyed the movie because it showed that even though the "facts" showed that Emily's death could be caused by the priest, the people still believed in him because of his sincerity and love for Emily.

The implicit intent of the movie, based on the true story, was partly to suggest the existence of devils and demons, and I think the movie had done quite well. It puts the reality of demon possesions in lifesize manifestations and I believe it will be etched deep into the minds of those who have watched them.

Personally, I believed in the supernatural. I believed that the supernatural exist. When I was younger, I "studied" vampires, werewolves and such and read up anything supernatural available. Now, I just read the Bible. Heehee.

There is a lot of after-thoughts since I come out from the cinema. Thoughts which I will need time to process and think through. If I got time I will blog my conclusions.

But now, I just want to hit the sack.... And pray that I dun wake up at 3am...

Sunshine of your love

Many a times, when I'm not in front of the computer blogging, I think that I have a lot of things to blog. But as I sat down in front of the PC, all my thoughts escaped me, and I have no idea what I want to blog.

I wanna watch movie!!! Sigh.... Anybody want to watch The Exorcism of Emily Rose? All my friends say dun want to watch cos looks scary. I want to see how Logic and Faith fought for the Truth in Justice. Or maybe I should go and watch alone... ...

Yesterday I karna summon. Cos I park in the parking slot, can only park until 7pm. After that is for Season Parking only. But I forgot... and park until 10pm!!!! Wahaha!! Ya lor... No choice, have to pay the summon. $50.

Other than that, yesterday was not a bad day. Except in the morning, when I haven't really woke up and I had to go for the meeting in church. I think I dun interact well with people when I was not awake. So I sat down at the back and left shortly after the meeting.

After the meeting, I walked off by myself... Not sure if anybody noticed. I took a short walk around Parkway before church. To get my emotions settled down and ready to meet the world later. With a portable lunch in my hand (BK's Whopper) and my head between a pair of earphones, I strolled the walks of Parkway Parade, gathering my thoughts and emotions. Also, I got a haircut and paid my phone bills.

Church was good. And so was the after church activity with cell. (That's why I forgot about my season parking lot) We went to Bernie's at East Coast Park and have dinner there. There's pool table and a live band. Their opening song was "Sunshine of Your Love" which happens to be my favourite Cream song.

We also celebrated our cell leader's fiance's birthday there. Too bad I have no pictures to show on blog. I think why nobody reads my blog nowadays is cos nowadays I never post pictures liao... Wahaha. Okok. Will be more diligent in posting pictures later.

Just me...

Sometimes I just want to have a record of the week that just past by... But then I have to think hard for a blog title.....

If you never see me blog from Monday to Friday, you'd know that I had a busy week.

Actually not really lah, still can find time to play mahjong with my colleagues... Wahaha. But in the end still lack of sleep.

Pretty uneventful this week. This week's focus on work was Safety Audit check. As you all know, the SAF has been focusing much of their energy on the safety aspect of training since the sad incident in Commandos a few years back.

Btw, talking about Combat Survival Training, it might be coming back to the SAF, probably without the water treatment and drowning part. Haha. I went for an interview yesterday. And if everything goes well, I might be in charge of drowning training people on combat survival next year.

Oh ya, Also need to record... That I failed my Airborne selection again... Missed the running... by 2 seconds.... GEEZ!

Haha.

A very haphazard blog... sentence structure and flow of thoughts all haywire... that's because I need to go out soon...

For the past few days, I feel like crying... Literally.

I'm not sure why... Maybe its the overwhelming sense of inadequacy that has overcome me. Suddenly I feel so helpless... like nothing I ever do will be good enough.

So suddenly I felt like crying... and I have been feeling like crying the whole day.

No lah, I did not cry. But I think maybe I should... have a good cry.

Actually I know... why I felt like this... It is Him, calling me to come back. And I felt it.

So there is only one thing to do. To go back to Him and admit my iniquities. To ask for forgiveness... and just cry my heart out.

Another lazy Sunday...

Never go out today.

I wanted to. To go Orchard to see my Ipod Video, to go Lido and watch Tony Jaa do the Tom Yum Goong, to go Penisula Plaza to see the pretty curves... of guitars...

But nobody wants to go out with me. Boo hoo~

So I stay at home and rest lor. Not many people online also, so I can't really chat with them. So I stay at home and play guitar... And play Pinball on Windows XP. My current high score is 4,489,500. Anybody bettered that score?

Seems like everybody is busy... Except me...

BUT HEY!!! IT'S SUNDAY LEH!!!

How can people be busy on Sunday?

You all know the origin or Sunday? I'm sure you all know. God made the Heaven and Earth, and everything in it in 6 days. And on the 7th day, He rested from all His work. So, if you believe in Sundays, you believe should in God!

The Jews believed call this day of rest the Sabbath, and it is holy unto God, set apart for Him. (actually I think the Jew's Sabbath Day does not fall on Sunday, but the principle is the same) I think the Christian's Sabbath Day falls on Sunday. That's why people rest and go to churches on Sundays.

There are a lot of rules for the Jews on their Sabbath. Basically they are not allowed to work. If they are found working, they will be stoned to death! Haha, that was last time lah. They are also not allowed to gather firewood and have any fire lighted. They are to rest, and listen to God's Word being read out at the temple. (like going to church like that)

Hmm... Studies have shown that observing the Sabbath or, in our terms, resting on Sundays is good for the physical and mental health. And generally people perform better if they took one day of rest every week compared to people who worked 7 days a week.

Haha, that's all I have for Sabbaths. Me going for dinner... And more guitars and Pinballs after that...

Good week?

Hey hey. Long time never blog liao. Haha. Been real busy leh. After the comp conk up on me on tuesday, I have to spent the rest of the week rushing for my presentation on Saturday, which was yesterday.

The LTC I was suppose to present to was well known for been hard to please, who will not hesitate to screw a CPT left right centre upside down if he does not meet his high standards. But thank God everything went smoothly. And we were able to go through the session without much problems.

Thank God that was over.

Next problem is my basketball. Was suppose to form this team for the unit to play with the rest of the army. And when I finally formed this team, I realised that our jersey was lost and we cannot play without our jersey!! [dress code issue]. Sigh... Now have to hunt for jersy shops. Or shops that sell basketball jerseys. Or shops that have basketball jerseys to sell....................

That was my week. Tuesday on duty, Wednesday stayed back to work for a while, Thursday went back to work for half a day and Friday worked until 11pm....

Work work work!! Work work work!! Work work work!!

Next week should be better, since my boss had come back from Australia, he can help share a bit of my work... Wahaha.

Of course I took some time to do my own stuff also.

Watched Skyhigh on Thursday. Rushed down from office after work. I think it was a good show. We can always trust Disney to come up with good clean wholesome family movies with proper values and good morals. (I mean it!) Haha.

After that I went for cell group. This is the 1st time I went for this cell as a cell group. Well, long story, but I'm not with my previous cell anymore.

Saturday, I went for my 2nd Bike lesson. 2nd only leh!!! I think the 1st one was like 3 months ago. I realised that I had forgotten how to control the bike properly, and have to repeat Lesson 2 again. Sianz!!! Anyway, it's because the bike is hard to control as the trottle was very loose leh!! [yeah, that's it! Blame it on the bike!]

One last thing. Yesterday was my Dad's birthday. I took my family out for dinner. I thank God for the opportunity. That I can do something for my parents on their birthday. (Mum's was 2 weeks later but we sort of celebrate together... cheaper mah)

That's my week. Busy & eventful. Today is Sabbath, rest day. Maybe later go town and catch another movie, and visit the Apple@Orchard to see the latest Ipod Video and explore the possibility of trading in my Ipod photo.

Boredddd

Whole day suppose to do work. But never do. Stressed.

What I do today: Read and Write, Read and Write. (Think my eyes going to spoilt again) Msn and play guitar.

That's about it.

And I fed a cat. That's right. There are hordes of cats in Bedok Camp.

Am I wasting my life away? Certainly feels like it.

And I felt very lonely. Cos I'm doing duty alone here. I have the tendency to feel lonely at times. Esp when I have no contact with the outside world.

Now want to find people to talk to in MSN also cannot. So bored.... Maybe I shd sleep early tonight.... REAL early...

The Will of God?

Me have tons of work to be done.

But then, the intranet network is down. That means I cannot log in... Which means I cannot work!! Jialat. Come Sat, I will be skinned alive. By a certain Lieutenant Col in Bedok Camp.

Sian!!! <- work also sian, now cannot work also sian... WHAT YOU WANT????

Oh well, this is not within my control mah. Just leave it to God lor... I'm sure there's a way out of everything...

Eh!!! How come I write so many blog but nobody comment?????? Everybody so busy ah?

HUH??

I remember a few years ago, when I was still in NUS, Deepavali has no meaning to me. Because it's always right smack in the middle of my examinations. Maybe that's why everybody so busy...

Pretty bored here. Nobody on MSN, nobody update blog also. Maybe I try to tell a story:

Once there was a successful young man. It was the end of the year and he will be getting his year-end bonus soon. He thought to himself, "What shall I do? I have more than I need in my savings already"

Then the said to himself, "This is what I'll do. I will buy more guitars and mp3 players. I'll get better clothes, watch more movies, eat better food and enjoy myself. And I'll say to myself, 'You have plenty of good things to enjoy. Take life easy, eat drink and be merry.'"

But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?

This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.

Also read : The Bible, Luke 12: 16-21

How ah? Maybe I should not get the new Ipod Video after all?

Duty morning status report

Here I am again... Doing duty... Another extra...

Got a lot of work waiting for me to clear... But I think I going to sleep 1st.

Yesterday watched Zorro with Jade. Heehee. I can almost always count on her to be my movie buddy. And she can't complain about the movie we are watching... cos she's watching it for free. Wahaha.

So so sleepy...

Still thinking... should I or should I not buy the Ipod Video?

Dun care. Sleep 1st. Work later.