Thursday, April 07, 2005

Let it be...

With no reference to FF's previous blog entry, I am an officer of the Singapore Armed Forces. Haha. I realised I have a hard time convincing people on that. Usually, the conversation will go something like this:

Him: Wah! you officer ah?
Me: Ya.

Him: What rank?
Me: Captain.

Him: Wah! You so young captain already ah?
Me: Ok lah, I not very young liao.

Him: You how old?
Me: Going 27 this year.

Him: Wah! I thought you doing NS like those 18 year olds!
Me: =)

It is true. In fact this conversation just took place again 2 days ago. The fact is, I find it hard to convince people that I am already 26 years old. People usually assume I'm 21 or 22 years old... The curse of a childish look... Sigh

Was Her-crazy again the last few days. Cannot stop thinking about her. Finally, after much thoughts and prayer, I decide to sms her the following:

"I am sorry for all the things I did and try to make you love me. You are right, Love cannot be forced. I am sorry for the things I did that made you uncomfortable. Please forgive me. Knowing you is God's most wonderful gift to me and I really like you very much. I will continue to wait and pray but I will try not to disturb you anymore..."

To which she replied:

"Thanks, Glad you see it this way."

I think she is really happy that I finally release her from my demonic grip. Haha. Actually, that was a very long sms (takes 2 smses to send) and I'm not sure if she got the whole message. Maybe she just got "I'm sorry" and "You are right, love cannot be forced" and miss the "I will continue to wait" part. That's why she is so happy.

For myself, actually it is very hard for me to let go. In fact, I dunno if I will go back on my word and start "disturbing" her again. I think I need a lot of emotional strength (which I sorely lack) to fully let go, and a lot of faith (which I lack also) to let God work things out for me. But if I believe God has intended the best for me (which I do), then I must let Him take control. No?

Just shortly after that, a friend smsed me:

"I pray that ... we will trust in Him for our needs in life"

Hmm.. Our needs in life... With no reference to FF's blog again, I think God is using her to speak to me. Heehee.

Today is the start of (my church's) G12 conference. How I wish I can be there.

Going out on exercise tonight. Will be back on the 10th. 4 days without sleep, 4 days without blog... Hope I come back alive...


Blogger ningx said...

hello :D
what is your email address ar?
of course u can talk to me on MSN.

7:27 pm  

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