Thursday, March 16, 2006

Musings on a lazy Thursday afternoon...

The time now is 1625hrs, 160306. I am alone in my office's internet computer, while the rest of my Branch mates are playing pool in the Crew Lounge, aka Mess.

Life is indeed very slow here. I have yet to get into the flow of my job yet, partly because I'm still learning the ropes and also partly because there are some administration hiccups and I can't get myself settled into the professional aspect of my job.

That's why I can be blogging here at 4pm in the afternoon and nobody cares about it. Haha. My new camp, or Squadron as they call it, is a very small and cosy place. Boss is still boss of course, but they are not so much rank consicious as compared to where I come from previously.

I noticed that most of the time, I blogged about what went on in my life, the daily routines and the "not so daily" sub-routines, not unlike a diary. What I hope to blog more in the future, though, are my thoughts on things that are happening, instead of just reporting the things happening around me.

Today, I received a sms from a friend, waking me up from my afterlunch nap. The message goes like this: Hi, can I invite you to my Church wedding at XX (date)? blah blah... Hope you can come. :) XXX(name)

Looks to me like a mass sms.

Anyway, the friend was an ex friend/ crush of mine, whom I had forfeited the friendship because I had feelings for her. We were from the same church and got quite friendly for a while but things did not work out. To keep the long story short, I had not spoken to her for a long while after that, and it is only in the recent that we start to exchange occassional greetings when we ran into each other in church.

So, I am deciding that I will not be attending her wedding. Seriously, I think her wedding got nothing to do with me. And I dun even like the guy!

Or maybe I'm just a sore loser. Haha.

Oh ya, this is her first (and probably last) appearance on my blog. Had never mentioned her before in any of my entries....

Ok, I'm sure now you guys are thinking like "how many girls does this guy like man!?" Haha. I have liked a few, at different times of my life, but not more than 1 at the same time lah... Haha. I'm not so bad...

Well, if you have been following my blog for a while, you would have known a certain "her" (Nope, this "her" is not the girl that sms me earlier) which I blogged extensively about until the later half of 2005. And I have not talked about her for a while... (ran a quick check, the last entry on her was 21 June 2005, I think)

Anyway, think it's about time I put a closure on this. In fact, I think the closure is is slightly overdue. (which reminds me, FF, have you paid the overdue fines which you owe the library? Fines for the books you borrowed using MY library card? Haha.)

She ("her", not FF) had got a steady boyfriend for more than half a year now... and that's all I know about her now actually... I had not spoken to her or had anybody talked to me about her for a very loong time. I still feel very sad whenever I see her in church, but much less so recently. I think God has healed me a lot of the hurts and the heart-brokenness (spelling?) that I went through. I think about 2 weeks ago, I came face to face with her, and I said "hi". (I got it down in blog somewhere)

Now, and only now, I can say that I thank God for putting me through this episode in my life, for it really has caused me to grow a lot. Sometimes I still sad that she is with somebody else, but now I know that during that time, I was not ready for a relationship and I would experience more hurts and heart breaks if I had gotten together with her then. And worse, I would cause her a lot of hurts and pains as well.

Well, that's that. It certainly pains me that things had to turn out this way, but I know that all things work for the good of those who loved Him. And I think now, I am ready to move on with my life and hopefully find somebody better. Heehee

Hmm... Probably I will not attend her wedding if she invites me also... Wahaha.


Blogger Jayaxe said...

Hey, not related to your post, but think I saw you at MRT just now. Actually, is confirm it's you in uniform! But I didn't approach you because you seem to frantic to go off somewhere and busy with your mobile.

8:47 pm  

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