Thursday, October 14, 2004

My childhood fantasy

Hmm..... my 2nd blog...

Actually I do have a lot of things that I want to write down. That's why I started this blogging thing. But right now, I have no idea what I want to write...

Maybe I start by addressing some of the feedback and comments I got since I wrote the last blog. Some of my friends were surprised by what I wrote, some of them amused. I suppose part of the reason I started this blog is to show the world a side of me that is otherwise hidden. It is for my friends to know me better and also an outlet for expression which I need so badly.

So guys, this is the real me, at least more real than the mask I put on before I face the world everyday.

My Childhood Fantasy

I will bet a hundred million dollars that you will never guess what my childhood fantasy is in a hundred million years. Anyway, I will tell you... (are you sure you dun want to guess 1st before reading on???)

My childhood fantasy is to DESTROY THE WORLD!!!

I am serious. That is the kind of despair and hopelessness I grew up in. The Human Species, I reasoned, had absolutely no reason to carry on. We destroy the plants, we destroy the animals, we destroy the planet, heck we are even destroying ourselves! I thought "How can God, if there ever is one, (I believed there is One and I still do) allow the Humans to mess up the place like that? I believed that the world would be a better place if there were no Humans around. I envisioned a paradise without Man's destruction and everything else lived in peace.

World Peace - the first thing to do is kill all the beauty queens.

Welcome to my world.

The main cause of this dream of mine, as I look back now, is probably the lack of Love in my life. I dun know how to love and I dun know how to be loved. Partly because my parents dun know how to show love to me and I was not taught how to love others. I still remember the loneliness, the despair and the hopelessness I faced everyday. So much so that I wanted to take my life. But I was not satisfied with that, I wanted to kill all the Humans, cause the world would be a much better place without them.

Throw in an endless pile of homework and an authoritarian cane-wielding mother and that pretty much sums up my childhood.

Anyway, I sort of outgrew that fantasy now, though sometimes I still feel that the world could be so much more a better place if we do not do all the things we are doing now.


Blogger シャロン said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:34 pm  
Blogger シャロン said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:46 pm  
Blogger シャロン said...

hi friend!

pai seh... i accidentally deleted my own post and thought it was you who censored it! haha... can't remember what i wrote.

i think i said something about how my friends write better than i do and i'm beginning to feel shy about my own blog that contains nothing but childish gibberish!

hope you no longer want to destroy the world coz i'm too young to die! *double gasp* doesnt one nice person on earth count for something?? *wink*


3:59 pm  
Blogger CH said...

The world is what you make of it.... Our perceptions are only broadened by the hardships we face in life, if you feel're not the only one.

4:15 pm  

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